Wow it's really been a while since I have written here, and to be honest I have missed every second of it. Some times I sit and wonder what I would write about but soon realize that I only need to simply write about what's on my mind. I'm not writing to anyone or to please anyone. I'm writing to me, for me. This is the place were I can come and not have anyone judge me or tell me there's something wrong. I love this. Writing, along with reading is my escape from the world of stress and worry I live in. Some times I think I'm going crazy but really I'm just thinking too much lol. (Girls tend to do that often) I wish I could describe how life is when it's being lived on your own. I don't know how to explain the pain I feel every time I miss my family. It hurts to know that even though they are still alive and well they aren't the same as my memories of them. They feel lost to me now and I miss them more then ever. Especially when they are right next to me. It's been 5 years. I have learned to live with myself and solve my own problems for 5 years. I don't know how to trust anyone to take care of me anymore. I have grown to be very independent and determined. There is nothing in my life that I would look back and regret because even though it hasn't been at all easy, it's been worth it.
I like to read things before I go to bed each night. Whether it's a book or just surfing the web for quotes. A few night's ago I stumbled on this..
I am thankful for...
... the mess to clean up after a party
because it means I am surrounded by friends.
... the taxes I pay
because it means that I am employed.
... the clothes that fit a little too snug
because it means I have a enough to eat.
... my shadow who watches me work
because it means i'm out in the sunshine.
... the spot I find at the far end of the parking lot
because it means I am capable of walking
... all the complaining i hear about the government
because it means we have freedom of speech
... the lady behind me at church who sings off key
because it means I can hear.
... lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing
because it means that I have a home.
... my huge heating bill
because it means that I am warm
... weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day
because it means I have been productive
... the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours
because it means that I am alive.
There are three kinds of days.
1. Good days,
2. Great days, and
3. Outstanding days.
I hope yours is Outstanding!
The past few months for me have been especially tough and I could sit here and complain all about it. But what good does that do? To see the good in everything is the true test in life. Be grateful for every good and bad thing you experience in it. It's easier said then done but we all know that life isn't ever going to be easy, so why sit around and wait to only be happy in the good moments? I personally think that's a big waste of time. Find a way to make every day Outstanding. Haha that's still a work in progress for me :)
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