Risks

Today has been a better day. Miss Utah paperwork has consumed my whole day! Some might see this as a chore, but I love it. Miss Utah is my get away, it’s my sanctuary. It gives me something to work towards and it’s something that brings a real smile to my face. In this world I am believed in, I can do anything. I have the opportunity to become the person I have always wanted to be. It’s the scariest and hardest thing I have ever done, but it’s amazing. I’m so excited to turn all of this paperwork in and start preparing for the competition. Miss Utah will be held on June 20-25 this year. I can’t wait for that week to come. I know I have what it takes to be Miss Utah so now it’s just the matter of making sure everything is perfect and working my butt off for it. I will give it my 100% and what is meant to happen will happen. Either way, I did my best.

My goal as Miss Legacy is to find an organization that I can work with to make what I’m doing bigger. I don’t know how I’m going to do this but I’m sure I’ll figure something out. I have a feeling that there is a reason I have been given this experience in my life. For some reason everything seems to be working out. I found out today that Jessica got someone to sponsor my tribute page. That was one of my financial goals for this week to turn in with my paperwork. I was also sponsored to work with a trainer to prepare for the competition. I don’t know why I was given this opportunity again or even what I’m meant to do with it, but I won’t stop trying to figure it out till I do.

I don’t know a lot about my life right now. I used to. I used to be the type of person who knew an answer to every question about my life. Now I just feel lost. All I know is that I need to do what I know to be right. I’m going to church, I pay my tithing, I’m praying, I’m dating, I’m looking for work, and I’m doing Miss Utah. I don’t know when I’ll be truly happy again. All I know is that I have to be patient, do the right thing, and when the right time comes I will be happy. I am trusting in him blindly. Ha it’s a good thing that I have no doubt that he will guide me. I’m lucky to have this faith because many people don’t. I wasn’t always this way though… I always knew deep down inside but I didn’t always feel taken care of. I do now. Things are still unsure for me… I need more jobs. I need more money for food, bills, and gas. But I’m not stressed… normally I would be but for some reason I’m not. I guess this doing the right thing is paying off somehow haha.

Life is tricky.. you really don’t understand how it is till you actually live it. This whole trust me I’ve been there, don’t do that thing doesn’t always work. You can’t always live though other people lives. You have to live your own. And that’s what I’m doing. I’m living my life. Right now it sucks… but it will get better. That’s the thought that gets me through each day. Risks have to be taken or else you miss opportunities to live.

"To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing."
- Leo Buscaglia